It's a wonder I haven't gone grey yet. Another day stuck indoors due to the miserable weather has turned me into a horrible monster I have decided! And the reason for my transformation into mother from hell? Well, the kids of course, what else! Don't get me wrong, I get their boredom, I mean who wouldn't favour a run in the park to being indoors all day? I know I certainly would have been happier getting some fresh air, but I feel a bit cruel taking the kids out in absolute pouring rain just to satisfy my need to get out the house for a bit, especially as I would have had to deny them the park bit as it would be too dangerous for my sons to climb up the slide (steps are for losers!) Anyway, let's face it, I'd only be moaning when they complained about being wet!
Now it's not like I expected them to just sit all day or watch me clean, I had a whole array of activities planned including carving some butternut squashes (OK, I forgot to buy a pumpkin), and other Halloween themed ideas. Trouble is my boys had other plans, namely those that involved doing things they shouldn't be. I lost count of the number of times I had to remove my youngest from the fish tank before he got his hands in it, and the other was intent on playing behind the television, dislodging cables in the process I later discovered! And these continuous mischievous acts and the combination of cabin fever could only lead to one thing- me getting rather angry!! Now I know the kids aren't really to blame, they are just kids and young ones at that who do not yet know right from wrong and as their mother I should of course teach them. Sadly, when I became a mother someone forgot to teach me the patience part and there is only so many times I can put a 17 month old in the naughty corner..and keep returning them there when they inevitably move!
So as days go today isn't going down in history as my best and having now put the children to bed I have sunk onto the sofa, glass of wine in hand racked with guilt over my failure to be a good mother. Then I remember that right near the end of the day when dinner was finished and I went to take the boys out of their highchairs they proceeded to carry out a little game they have started recently where the one I get out first turns to the other and waves and says 'bye bye' and the other then responds in the same way, both with great big grins. Tonight they repeated this little ritual at bedtime for the first time, making me smile and think, you know what, they are not that bad. And whilst we are talking about 'not that bad', I may not be a great mother, and I sure as anything am not perfect, but I do the best I can. Who wants perfect anyway?!